About Dee

Hi! My name is Dee, and I help people find themselves and create a life they love.

Why we get agitated

Hey guys, how are you doing! I know it’s been a little while since I wrote. After my 7.5 day fast I had a little knee injury, so took a break.

Just before I fell, I had an experience which caused me to have quite a bit of a breakthrough! I was thrilled and couldn’t wait to share it with you!

I was walking with a relatively new friend and we were having a great time! But then he had to go ruin it all! He categorically told me that I will never be able to achieve my dreams! He claimed that people who achieve those kinds of dreams start young. He said – tell me what you’ve achieved so far and I’ll tell you how much you can achieve. He said those guys that achieve big dreams are extremely smart. And, without really knowing me, he called me dumb! Or not smart enough! Coz if I was, coz I’d have dazzled him within a minute I suppose! He said many people have dreams like those but it’s only a very few outliers who achieve them, and they have to be super smart and start super young!

Okay, so this to me is total crap, right? Of course, I didn’t hold back in telling him that! I must have started out telling him this calmly, I’m sure. But soon I wasn’t all that calm! 🙂 I told him that’s bullshit and he can’t possibly tell me what I can and cannot do. He said, this he can tell me absolutely and without a doubt – I’ll never reach the levels I’m trying to reach. Nope. Never.

What??? Really? I was mad! I said to him, who the hell do you think you are to tell me what I can and cannot do? Take your opinion and shove it up your ass! I said I can absolutely do whatever the f* I want and all those theories of yours are just total bullshit. Geez!

Okay, so here’s why I’m telling you this. It’s not to vent! 🙂 I think most of you can see that I had reason to be agitated. Most of you will agree with me. Here’s what – I want you to not agree with me! Here’s why.

At some point, he said something that stayed with me, even though I counter-argued effectively. He said if you were all that confident, you wouldn’t get agitated. I dispelled that myth of his by saying you can achieve brilliant, masterful things with all kinds of personalities. Steve Jobs used to get upset, but he transformed the world completely. However, I do like being calm, and his words stayed with me.

This brought about my breakthrough while journaling. I kept asking myself, what would I have to feel or think so as to not be triggered by him?

I realized that the way would have been to think in my head – oh he’s one of those people! People who think like that!

Basically separate myself from him. Create a distance.

That thought made me feel sad. I don’t want to think that thought? Why?

I realized that by thinking that thought, I’m immediately creating an emotional distance between us. I’m saying – he is different. I’m saying, we may not be able to connect. By fighting with him, I’m trying to keep that connection intact. I’m trying to convince him to be in my place. I’m trying to reduce distance.

That’s why I felt sad when I had that thought about him – oh, he’s one of those people. And when I realized that in future situations, if I use this tool of immediately thinking – oh he/she has this belief, then I’m putting them in a container that’s not mine. And I’m creating a separation.

That’s why we keep feeling bad about the person. That’s why we try to control the other person’s thoughts and feelings and try to make them the same as ours, and we feel bad if they don’t come on to our camp. Because we don’t want to accept the separation. To try and reduce the emotional distance, we become controlling instead. We do not allow the other person to hold their own values and beliefs, we try to control them into having the same values and beliefs as us. Why don’t you understand what I’m saying? You should understand what I’m saying! I like you, I respect you, so do what it takes to make me feel better! Come to my container!

Of course, that doesn’t work. Just as we can’t just believe what they believe, they can’t believe what we believe. The distance is inherently there. Fighting about it and expecting them to be in our land won’t create the bridge needed for the relationship to survive. The good news is that our intent by fighting is good, it’s to reduce emotional distance. The bad news is that it increases the distance instead of reducing it.

It’s not easy, but allow the person to be in their own container, different from yours. See how it works out! You may be able to create a bridge, you may not. Either way is okay. Not forcing someone to share our beliefs, and accepting any distance as being true, is being deeply honest with ourselves. This will allow you to have deeper relationships where you build bridges where possible, and respect each other’s viewpoints where possible, and overall remain calm and untriggered./div>

In this case, do I respect his viewpoint? Absolutely! Yes, I believe to the core of me that he is mistaken. Even so. Do I want to hang out with him again? It depends. I prefer to be around people that believe in me. If he doesn’t, then the bridge is not possible between us. I can respect him and how he came to his opinions, but choose to not be exposed to it.

Hope this helps! Sign up to my mailing list to not miss more articles from me!

Until next time!

Blessings, love and healing to you!

By |2018-08-27T20:46:21+00:00August 27th, 2018|0 Comments

Final – Dee Gupta 26 day fasting chronicles – Day 8

Hi! Yesterday was day 8 of my 26 day water only fast, and I broke it! See the video for more details. Basically the night of day 7 I puked blood twice, bright red, and it felt like a significant amount to me. And then day 8 I couldn’t drink water because I kept wanting to puke it out. When my mentor said it’s okay, just ease up on the water for a day, that’s when I decided that it’s not okay any more. I can’t not drink water on a lengthy water fast. Despite losing face and knowing that I was breaking my commitment to myself, I decided to take care of my health. I broke it with 8 ounces of watermelons every three hours. This fast was way more brutal for me than I’ve seen it be for others I seen on a water fast, I was happy to be done. I feel great about my decision!

I ended up going to spend the night at a friend’s place, and also I didn’t know what to say to all of you, so I didn’t shoot a video or send a mail yesterday! I’m feeling soooo much better today! I’m gaining my strength back slowly but surely. It’ll take a few days to be completely normal, but I’m good. Happy! I lost ten pounds, I’d loooove to keep it off! Let’s see! 🙂

Until next time!

Blessings, love and healing to you!

By |2018-08-01T15:57:26+00:00August 1st, 2018|0 Comments

Dee Gupta 26 day fasting chronicles – Day 7

Hi! Today is day 7 of my 26 day water only fast. I had another rough afternoon and evening last night. My throat was burning again in the afternoon and evening. Last night I puked, so that was better. My lower back started hurting, maybe because I’m just always in bed, and I couldn’t find a position that worked for me. And today morning after my call with my mentor I was feeling really low. I was almost on the verge of breaking my fast. I thankfully called an excellent friend with good knowledge and a clear mind. I am sticking with it. I have heard that this fasting process causes a ton of emotional turmoil. This was mine. So far I had questioned but not thought of giving up. Today was emotionally brutal!

See you tomorrow!

Blessings, love and healing to you!

By |2018-07-30T18:03:40+00:00July 30th, 2018|0 Comments

Dee Gupta 26 day fasting chronicles – Day 6

Hi! Today is day 6 of my 26 day water only fast. I had a rough afternoon and evening last night, with my throat burning. It felt like.. acid reflux maybe? I wasn’t going to give up, of course, but it did feel bad and I was wondering why I’m doing this.

In the morning today when I woke up I felt better. But now my throat is starting to feel burning-y again. Oh well, now I am used to it I guess!

Check out today’s video, I’m kind of too tired to type! 🙂

See you tomorrow!

Blessings, love and healing to you!

By |2018-07-29T13:22:51+00:00July 29th, 2018|0 Comments

Dee Gupta 26 day fasting chronicles – Day 5

Hi! Today is day 5 of my 26 day water only fast. I’m a very tiny fraction of a hair less tired than yesterday, but I’m still very exhausted. And I’m sleeping all day. Maybe just drinking a little more water than yesterday coz I have enough energy to prop my head up against a pillow to drink water! Getting up to go to the restroom is such a drag! But because I’m drinking 4 litres of water every day, I need to get up and go very often! Check out my video for more info!

By |2018-07-28T14:18:00+00:00July 28th, 2018|0 Comments

Dee Gupta 26 day fasting chronicles – Day 4

Hi! Today is day 4 of my 26 day water only fast. Oh my goodness I’ve been soooooo tired today! I woke up in the morning for about ten minutes or so, barely, and crashed and went back to sleep. I had to wake up to meet someone at two, so I changed, and when I got back I shot the video now so I wouldn’t have to change again later. I’m going right back to sleep as soon as I send this! I’m so extremely happy that my body is detoxing! I’m okay, other than just completely exhausted. I’ll see you all tomorrow, I’ll go crash now! 🙂

By |2018-07-27T15:42:50+00:00July 27th, 2018|0 Comments

Dee Gupta 26 day fasting chronicles – Day 3

Hi again everyone! This is day 3 of my 26 day water only fast. Today was just a little more tiring than the first two days, but I accomplished a ton! I’m supposed to not work on my business at all, so I ended up doing quite a bit of work to share this journey with you all! I set up the systems to shoot videos, edit them, upload them, write this post, and then send out mailers to my email list! I’m excited to share my journey with you, and I’m so happy I got all my systems set up so now, during the beginning of the fast, so that I can share from now on much more smoothly!

My mentor told me that it is usually on day 3 or 4 that the body switches from muscle burning mode for energy to fat burning mode. Many toxins are stored in fat, because the body is smart enough to store it in a place which is safe for the body and is not used. When the body starts breaking down fat, toxins are released from the body, thus making it a little tiring. He also told me that if you’ve done the fast earlier, the process will not be as powerful for you as it was the first time. Which is why I still have energy, since it is day 3 now and I’ve already done a 3 day fast! Yay! I’m so glad I get to set up all my systems so it’ll be smoother flowing now to share my daily updates!

See you tomorrow!
By |2018-07-26T20:52:52+00:00July 26th, 2018|0 Comments

Dee Gupta 26 day fasting chronicles – Days 1 and 2

On Tuesday July 24, 2018, right after I got back from an incredible business trip, I started my 26 day fast. Yes, that’s right, I’m not going to eat or drink anything but pure spring water for 26 continuous days! Most people around me barely understand what I’m saying, they look at me baffled and ask, so you’ll eat only at night? And I smile and say.. nope.. no food at all. Some of you will understand it well, and may have already done something like this.

So why am I doing this? Am I crazy? Yes, absolutely I am! 🙂 I am doing this because fasting is one of the most powerful and best ways to heal and detox the body. I truly believe that it is better than any cleanses you can do out there. The body knows how to heal itself, and if you stop feeding the body and forcing it to use up all its energy on digesting, it will redirect the energy to healing. Get out of your body’s way, and it will heal itself! Many people have had all kinds of things clear up with fasting. I’m so extremely excited!

I am doing this under supervision, of course! My fasting coach says we should have complete emotional, mental and physical rest during the fast to allow the body to really focus on healing. He is coaching me over Skype, calling me every single day, speaking to me about how I’m doing, going through my vital stats, and giving me information. I’m extremely grateful to have found such an incredible coach! He says up to 40 days water fasting is safe even for thin people, beyond that it depends on how much fat reserves you have. I’m well within the safety limit!

This post is to cater to days 1 and 2. I did a 3 day water fast just a month earlier, and that was a really tough thing for me to do! I felt so hungry then, all the time! I noticed that every time I had an even minutely stressful thought I’d get a hunger pang. This time I have barely had any hunger pangs! It’s so strange! I suppose I’m just emotionally much more stable and calm. It’s perfect, I’m thrilled! On day 1 I slept a lot, since the business trip I’d been on had been so intense. On day 2 I had so much energy! I was completely expecting to sleep the whole day, but I was running around, unpacking, setting up, cleaning, throwing out everything from my fridge, and doing everything that would make my life easier in the coming month. Life is so exciting!

Blessings, healing and love to you!

Dee
By |2018-07-26T22:28:26+00:00July 26th, 2018|0 Comments

Even if the climb feels endless, there is always a summit!

At some point in our lives, you will likely go through very tough times, and it may feel terrible, painful, pointless and unnecessary. You may not want to experience it. You may resist it and want to move backwards.

The fact is that the maximum growth happens during times of pain, not times of happiness.

Why the growth, you may ask? I am happy where I am. I don’t want to grow at the cost of this pain.

Sometimes you don’t have an option. And always, growth transforms you. It is impossible to go back. You show up differently in the world, and the world sees you differently. You start operating at a higher level.

For possibly the first time in my life, I did not enjoy the hike that I did this weekend.

I hiked up Mt St Helens this weekend. It is a huge accomplishment for me! It was my first volcano hike – a starter hike for any mountaineering that I might do.

This an opportunity opened up for me through a series of amazing serendipitous events. Four weeks ago I did a basic tough hike alone, Mt Si. I was able to do the pace required by most Meetup groups, so the very next weekend I went with a Meetup group for a snow hike in leavenworth. There I met people that had an extra permit and were going on this hike. I couldn’t use an ice axe, but there was a training Meetup last weekend, which I went to. So this weekend I could join this hike! Incredible how it all worked out, step by step, so smoothly! How insanely lucky I am!

Finding the right group of people transforms everything. I would never in my wildest dreams have imagined that I would hike up Mt St Helens in the snow so soon. It happened only because I went on the Meetup hike to Leavenworth, where I met many people who were going to do this hike. It created the belief in my head that I can also do it.

On this hike we walked extremely fast in the beginning, starting at 3 am. I would have never walked fast on my own. Because of the group I pushed myself much more and built that strength much faster.

The place was phenomenal. The views were incredible. But I missed them. I was in too much pain. I was too worried about the steep glissade back. My Meetup group members were much faster, and even though there were many other people hiking up, I felt alone. I didn’t know how to pee after the tree cover disappeared, so I stopped drinking water and I was dehydrated. I wanted to go back many times. I had not expected the hike to be as hard as it was. At one point I felt tears. I eventually got cramps and every step up was a pain. It felt endless. Even though I logically knew that there was a summit, it felt like we will be hiking up for the rest of our lives.

When I reached the top I didn’t feel happy. I mean I did, of course, that it was over, but I couldn’t enjoy it very much. I was in pain and the steep glissade back was scary. And I was too exhausted to be happy. Or to look at the incredible views or even take photos. The photos taken on this post are by other Meetup members.

My Meetup members were angels. The organizer made me feel instantly better by telling me he will tandem glissade with me for the first part. Two other members massaged my cramps till they disappeared! Like magic! My pain was gone! I felt completely supported.

Keep pushing through your struggles, even if you feel alone at that moment, help is all around you. Human beings are truly amazing and kind. We are wired to help. You just have to reach out and ask for it. Sometimes that help may arrive after people see that you have made a sincere effort. Then you will get support you didn’t expect, and everything will change.

I was pain free on the way back. I pushed through the glissading fear over and over, through many steep slopes. This helped cut down hiking time by a great deal. But I still missed the beauty of it. We were walking super fast and I was still exhausted.

Am I glad I did it? Absolutely. Because I can see the benefit of it. I know that next time I will be faster and stronger.

In this case the benefit was very clear. In your current situation the benefit might not be that clear. It is still there, though! Tough situations almost always make us stronger.

Build that discipline muscle. It is what makes all the difference. Start with doing five minutes of whatever you find difficult. Make it your must. Be determined. Ask for help, and if you don’t get it right away, keeping slogging through that climb. Don’t give up, even if it feels hard and you’re not enjoying it at that moment. Of course, be safe! Use your intuition to guide you if you’re giving up because you’re afraid or because you need to learn more skills before doing it.

Eventually you’ll see the summit, and you’ll find help, and the rest of the way will be much smoother. Then, after a few days of rest, you will carry that pride with you for the rest of your life and talk about it with your friends and family forever! 🙂 And you will pave the way for the next big step of your life. Now that I have rested, I feel immense pride that I did it. And immense gratitude to my Meetup members for their support and company.

I probably could have handled this situation much better. I probably could have enjoyed it more. I forgive myself for not doing that. Because I did it, and next time I will definitely enjoy it more. I have learned many lessons.

Sure, this situation was easier because we know there is a summit. We can clearly see the benefits of pushing through. For many tough situations in life, we can’t see the summit. It truly feels endless. But here is the kicker. There is always a summit. Life will always turn around. Don’t let pain scare you away! Accept it and embrace the immense growth and learning behind that pain. Who knows, you might even learn to enjoy the process and appreciate the hidden gems you find along the way!
By |2018-05-14T19:37:38+00:00May 14th, 2018|0 Comments

Open up a new world by letting yourself fall, but safely!

I have always been afraid of ice, falling, sliding, skiing, snowboarding, skating, anything that may cause a physical lack of control. In my personal life I take big risks, but I have always been afraid of taking physical risks like these. It has been a big mental barrier since childhood – I never got on kids slides because they were so scary! A very astute and dear friend once told me that I should learn how to fall safely, like using aikido techniques, for example. I didn’t quite understand what he was saying then.
Recently, for the first time ever, I learned to let myself fall, and learn how to catch myself when I do, so I fall safely. I learned how to glissade.
That means to sit and slide down steep slopes on snow. It is often steep enough that the only way to stop yourself is to use an ice axe to ‘self-arrest’. When you are sliding down the snow on a steep mountain, you are not in control at that moment – gravity is controlling you. What you are in control of, however, is when you choose to stop. Sure, there is a risk, but is very minimal if you keep your wits and confidence about you.
And when you decide to let that confidence drive you, when you drop the fear, when you lean in to the experience, then you slide down screaming joyfully, whoo hoo! You experience freedom when you drop control. You experience joy when you let yourself go. You experience bliss when you work through your fears.
It took me many tries to get comfortable with glissading – it didn’t happen after the first time, or the second time, or the third time. But by the tenth time I started to feel comfortable. That’s the beauty of it! If you keep hacking away at it, then the fear drops and a whole new world opens up!
Now I can do hikes that were completely out of my reach before. Now I can dream of summiting Mt Rainier!
I have found my aikido of snow hiking. What is the area of your life that you feel fear and the need to keep control? What can you do to build the skills to catch yourself safely when falling, instead of shying away from things that might make you fall? What can you do to let go of your fear and allow yourself to open up to new possibilities?
By |2018-05-07T19:10:52+00:00May 7th, 2018|0 Comments